Advent for me has become, maybe always was, about waiting in the dark with anticipation.
Of course the childish version was for the earliest possible time my parents would allow us to rip open gifts. Even younger than that, we would do Christmas with my father’s family and then somehow my parents packed suitcases, kids, food, and unseen presents in the family car for thenight time trip to my mother’s parents in Illinois. We would wake on Christmas morning on sleeping pallets on the floor surrounded by cousins from many directions. I did not appreciate the magic then.
Fast forward to now and the literal return of the light has become more and more important to me. I am the only evangelical recovering fundamentalist I know who gathers friends annually to celebrate the Solstice! But, it is true none the less. I love the Solstice now.
And I think that it is more than appropriate. Rather than rush for stores, rush to gatherings, rush to church where we rush the message forward to Easter, I prefer to wait in the darkness. I hate the dark. But the anticipation of the light is everything. That is advent for me now as I remember the coming of the One who is Light. I have learned to love the mystery, the question, and the dance. I revel in the divine complexity of a universe always beyond my grasp. And I anticipate those Ananias moments when God breaks through with new light expanding both my world and my understanding of Him.
That is what I am looking forward to here. Reading, contemplating, sharing as I sit here in the dark in eager anticipation that once more the light will break through.